...is really amazingly, blazingly fast. I can't recommend it enough.

http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/upgrade.html

I know it's a bit annoying when normal, untrained citizens think they have answers for problems that the world's best minds in the field can't solve -- but I'd like you to hear me out. Sometimes it really does just take a little out-of-the-box thinking.

If the nuclear power plants in America simply tried to ship all their radioactive waste somewhere (anywhere) via FedEx Home Delivery, no one would ever see it again.

HOLY SHIT! WE'RE ALL JUST LIVING ON A GINORMOUS FUCKING SPINNING ROCK FLOATING THROUGH SPACE CIRCLING A BIG FUCKING BALL OF FIRE!!!

This morning, I discovered that my 5-year-old daughter thought that my turn indicators were part of the navigation system in my car.

I guess it makes sense -- a flashing green arrow turns on, and then I turn that way...

I think my head is bleeding.

Do you deal with metric craploads of email on a continual basis? Do you need to be able to search your vast archive of 1 million messages for keywords? Attachments? Are you tired of feeling lost in a sea of inaccessible information?

While it's not a perfect solution to all of these problems, that's what Postbox certainly tries to do. And it's not half bad. It's still a little buggy -- but, then again, it's still in Beta. Like a real "things might not work quite right" Beta, not a Google-style "Beta" that lasts more than five years.

It took over 30 hours to index my email archives, but now it lets me find stuff quickly, threads conversations (even if they're spread across multiple folders and even multiple accounts), and integrates with the OS X quick-look function, which is worth the price of admission alone.

Best of all, it imported all of my Thunderbird settings, so I really didn't have to set up anything at all.

1. First Verse
2. Bridge (variant 1)
3. Refrain
4. Second Verse
5. Bridge (variant 2)
6. Refrain
7. Musical Interlude (include lyrical snippets from earlier in the song)
8. Refrain (repeat as necessary)

• Song should be 4/4 time, between 90 and 140 bpm
• Syllables in verses should not be shorter than quarter notes
• For a post-1980s sound, throw in a heavy measure of sampled electric guitar
• Aim for 4 - 5 minutes in length; the 7 to 10 minute version will be a remix that someone else does for you

It's... um.... Work Zone Awareness Week.

Yeah.

Just so you know.

CORRECTION: You may have received an email stating Kids Club priority tickets for RENT in addition to FIDDLER ON THE ROOF. This was incorrect. We apologize for any confusion and look forward to seeing you soon at Kids Club events!

Having both a credit card and a bank account with Capital One, I find it amusing when they send me solicitations starting: "Here's a simple way to get a low 0% APR."

I mean, I'm already getting that on my money market account with them -- why should I need to take any further action?

After listening to your demo tape, entitled Sam's Town, I believe it shows great potential. I eagerly await the release of a fully produced album.

What you fail to realize, Mr. Bush, is that your clumsy attempts to save the country from harm actually harmed the country so badly that there's a lot less worth saving.

2009, here I come!

help me i am in kansas

Make sure you get to the last paragraph...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3328480/Otto-the-octopus-wrecks-havoc.html

I was going to do my round-up of Black Friday Wal-Mart incidents again this year... but given the Long Island incident in which shoppers ripped metal doors off the hinges, crumpling them "like an accordion," and trampled a temporary employee to death, I think humorous commentary would be in bad taste, even for me.

After listening to my uncle vigorously express and defend his position on abortion, euthanasia, and the death penalty at a recent family gathering, I have decided to start a new talk show: "Ask a Drunk Republican."

Rolaids has a flavor of antacids labled, for some reason, "freshmint." This is, in fact, an intricate and unfortunate misspelling of "ass."

I just about shit a kidney with fear when I opened up the CNN political ticker blog this morning and saw this: